Posted in Hardship, Hurt, Lies

The anŕtam payload.

anŕtam is translated as lie generally, but it can also mean untimely or out of rhythm, or something that’s not right.

In any interaction with anyone, however brief, a dose of something untimely or untruthful (or both) is injected. It could be a deliberate lie or an honestly held misperception.

This makes conversations difficult or painful. Often the conversation/interaction ceases once the anŕtam payload is delivered.

Society holds up many lies or myths as palatable truths which appeal to something in people. These lies are distributed in conversations or social media.

People keep their pain to themselves, because it’s unsafe to let others know.

Then others bring up hurtful subjects in an untimely way. It’s better to minimise interactions till all issues are resolved.

Posted in Covid, Economy, Lockdown

Covid : Incubation Period… and more.

Since the Covid incubation period is ten days, all of us who are fine today, either,

1. Have not met Covid as of April 15th.

2. Have met the virus, but are asymptomatic.

3. Have immunity.

To know if we have immunity we we will have to take a blood test for antibodies.

To know if we have the virus, we have to take a nose swab that tests for the virus protein, or the one that tests for the virus DNA.

The tests are known to give both false positives and false negatives, so, even if we take the tests, we don’t know either that we have or do not have Covid. Also the test results are delayed by upto 72 hours, and the results are valid for upto 72 hours. So taking a test would be a waste of the test kit, time, and money. Some states prioritize who to test. Travellers and symptomatic people.

A vaccine will start working some ten days after the second dose. So if we get the vaccine now, we still have to be careful for a month or two.

There aren’t enough vaccines. So if we register on May 1st, we may get our turns after a few months. Let’s say it will be 4 to 6 months before the average person gets a vaccine shot and it starts protecting them.

The vaccines don’t work for everyone. A small percentage die from the vaccine. Is a person who does from the vaccine, someone who would have died had they contracted Covid? I have found no answer yet.

Some 25 % of the people are not protected by the vaccine and this could be because of mutant viruses or the vaccine itself. That person’s body hasn’t learned enough from the vaccine to protect itself. The vaccines can’t teach everyone.

Oxygen is saving some lives and oxygen related accidents are taking some lives.

Lockdown is saving some people and hurting the economy to the point of destroying other lives, mental health, standard of living, social progress.

I have always been in favour of sanitising and maintaining social distance for multiple reasons.

The governments cannot be seen to be doing nothing. That would be costly in the elections. And lockdowns would be costly as well. They need to show that they are doing everything for healthcare and everything for economy. And they have to do all this in a reactive mode with an indisciplined populace and poor infrastructure. And arm-twisting to give up our medicines to the developed countries, even as they refuse to send us raw materials to make these meds. While belittling us constantly in their media.

Doctors and nurses are overworked and dying and receiving no long term gratitude. Politicians and celebrities are catching Covid multiple times and some of them are dying.

The government manages by statistics. Individuals care about their own personal well-being, longevity and freedom.

I never thought that the 2020 war would be against a virus.

Posted in Covid, Death, Depression, Hardship, Life, Lockdown, Pressure

Another lockdown.

Oh God!

It’s not that going out in Bengaluru is pleasant anymore.

Yet I don’t want to be locked in and resource deprived.

The problems of the Covid affected and the Lockdown affected are well known to all.

Life and Livelihood are affected.

Physical and Mental Health are affected.

In the village, I feared for my life, loved one and property.

In the mandal, I wondered how to make a living.

In the city, the feeling was death is okay. Acceptance of death.

In the Metro, the feeling is “Why am I living? And how long can I continue to do so?”

People have such jaded faces. They tell unnecessary glib lies.

I see people who have succeeded in stayin’ alive but not happy to be alive.

Life isn’t good.

A joyless outing.

Posted in Feelings, Happy

Cupboard Space

One of our present blessings.

Having lived with little to no space at all for about twenty years, it’s nice to have cupboard space.

No home has all blessings. No home is for all time. This home has cupboard space. That makes me happy.

I recall the past conditions with sorrow. I recall the causes with sorrow.

I know the next place will be different again, with new blessings and difficulties.

Maybe if I pray God, the next move will be gentle and good.

Posted in Free

Another town, another place

Apartment design is okay. Plumbing is a bit of weakness. Some eastern rooms get no sunlight at all and some western rooms overheat in the sun.
Traffic noise is less than some other areas. There are security guards and CC TV surveillance.
The RWA hasn’t been formed yet, contracted maintenance team is slow to respond.
There is power backup.
The owners have installed a common water softener on the terrace for the borewell water. Kaveri water isn’t here yet. People use RO water.
There is a lot of construction in the area. An air purifier is essential due to dust.
So far only bulbuls have been sighted.
Jio provides broadband internet.
Bigbasket and Amazon reported operational difficulties but are delivering now. Swiggy, Fresh and More and Akshayakalpa deliver. Newspaper is delivered. Domestic help is available and expensive. Society maintains common areas.

This area doesn’t feel like Bengaluru to me. There are markets within a few km, stock is old and available at a discount.

It’s easy to keep to oneself.
Lakes in this area aren’t very good. The area itself has some hilly streets to walk on and some places under trees to sit.

Posted in Home, Life, Self

Where the heart is.

I have been very unhappy over the loss of my home for a few years now. Having realised that what I lost was not my father, and what truly is my father can never be lost… I have been turning my thoughts to ‘home’.

When he ‘died’, I wanted to die also. He always said that we should live for the living and not die with the dead. It was a struggle to find the will to live. And there is a lot more I need and want to do, for which I want to live. A lot more I want to see. And of course, the other great loves of my life. For whose sake, I want to live, in good health and forever.

On the day my father passed, I did not want to step into that house in which he no longer lived. For me, home was always where my father was and he was never in any one place. That was the place I always returned to.

My father always wanted me to have the house., (though people and events conspired against that). And for a long time I mistook that house as my home. The only reason I lived in that house and in that locality was my father. The only reason I kept a whole bunch of people in my life was because he loved them. All those were not my home, my family or my friends. He ‘was’ my home, my family and my friend.

He is not ‘that which died’, he is that prāńa, that jīva, that which lives. That which is indestructible and eternal. It stands to reason that I have my home, my family and my friend.

There is more to it than reasoning.

I am that which is indestructible and eternal, I am not those cells which die every day. What I lost was not my home. What is my home cannot be lost.

My home is where my heart is.

Posted in Free

🐈 Cat’s paw

They keep from you their tested successful techniques and knowledge. Secretive and Competitive.

They recommend to you (forcefully) what they have never tried. If the idea doesn’t work, it’s a failure of your implementation or your folly in taking their advice.

When you share your knowledge with them, they ‘knew that already’ and thus are better than you.